FOTW Dies Slow, Boring Death for Fourth Time

Well, boys and girls, barnyard animals and other friends of Bonsai, it's time to admit defeat.

You've been good friends, good citizens and good samaritans, but in the end, it didn't matter.

Friend of the Week has once again failed.

It's not your fault, you've tried, but it's become apparent that Bonsai no longer cares enough about you to randomly distribute points each week on a semi-timely schedule, rewarding you for your good deeds and half efforts.

As word spreads and dozens of FOTW participants find themselves awash in sorrow and a feeling of loss, mass riots and the destruction of porch furniture is expected. But Friends are encourage to maintain the spirit of FOTW, spreading joy and loaning out their cars, rather than burning them openly in the streets.

Addendum: Happy Birthday Bonsai!

Week Four: Bonsai Feels Unloved

As friends go, you suck.

This is clearly the message being sent here at FOTW.

Why else would Bonsai forsake his friends? Why would he wait later each week, before finally failing to issue any FOTW standings?

Surely, it can't be a matter of simple, shinning incompetence.

No this contemptuous act is a clear signal: You need to be better friends.

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

FOTW Week Three: Coleslaw Spoils in Heat

FOTW may be late rewarding points, but lack of meaningless blather doesn't mean it's time to break out the eulogy.

But for some people, that's a hard concept to grasp.

This week ColeslawBlog receives one negative point, as do Flop and Crimenotes individually. Crimenotes loses points for anal retentiveness about FOTW posts, and Flop loses a point for failing to stop Crime notes from committing FOTW blasphemy.

Everyone else wins one point, because as long as Evil is doling it out, everybody gets some.

The standings as of July 27:

Evil Girl 4
Tim Haddock 4
Alex Dobdkldsfakldsa 3
Edith 1
Erin Holmes 1
Evan Pondel 1
Everyone else 0
Everyone at Fox News -1
Coleslawblog -1
LAX prick -1
Crime Notes -3
Flop -4